Sword of the Saints Part 1
by Lisa213
Summary: Wherein Sam realizes that Dean is whipped. Please no bashing A-Rod but please do review if you are so inclined. I realized I committed a cardinal sin by introducing the sword and not actually using it. I will be recitfying that soon.


As they entered the motel room they didn't notice the woman standing quitely in the corner. When Castiel turned and saw her he instinctively moved in front of Dean.

'Don't worry about your boyfriend Castiel, I'm here for the other one.'

'He's not my boy...' he started to say, but stopped when he saw the slight smile.

Dean said, 'One of your sisters, Cas?'

The woman laughed again and said 'Should I be insulted to be taken as an angel?' She nodded to Castiel who said, 'Dean, this is one of the saints.'

Dean gave him a look. 'An actual saint? Not a saint's that's gone to the dark side and is going to take my head with that sword the minute you're gone?

'Dean. Saints do not go to the 'dark side' if I am understanding the reference correctly.'

'Then why is she here? She going to tell me I have to lead a bunch of Frenchmen into battle or something?'

Castiel stared at Dean with what some would have mistaken for an 'I want to fuck you so much it hurts' look but what was in actuality a 'where did you come from and how could you possibly know that' look.

A low appreciative laugh came from the woman with the sword. 'I see why you adore this one Castiel but why do they say he's not the smart one?'

Deans' eyes narrowed at that; whether more at the use of the word adore or the slight against his intelligence he wasn't quite sure.

Castiel replied in his defense 'Dean has a native form of intelligence that serves him well.' Possibly more telling was that he did not even address the woman's use of the word 'adore' in connection with Dean.

'You can actually see the sword?'

Of course I can, I'm an angel.'

'No, not you, your boyfriend. You can see it?'

'I'm looking right at it. Big honkin sword with five crosses on the hilt.'

She said almost to herself 'But I thought I was here for the other one...'

At that moment Sam walked in with the coffee stopped and said 'Who's the lady with the sword?' The saint and Castiel looked at each other. The woman said 'This is way above my pay grade, I'll be back.'

After she disappeared Sam and Dean said, almost in unison 'Cas, who the fuck was that?" (Except Sam left out the word 'fuck'). Castiel frowned, which was as flustered as they'd ever seen him and said, 'That was St Catherine of Alexandria.'

'St Catherine of the Wheel? The Joan of Arc St Catherine?' Sam and Castiel both looked at Dean in wide-eyed surprise. 'What?' he said. 'Joan of Arc was badass. And why does everyone think I'm stupid?'

The boys sat back with their coffee and waited for Cas to explain.

'Dean is correct. Catherine was one of the three who appeared to Joan of Arc along with St Margaret and Michael. The sword should only be visible to the one it is meant for – and only visible to others when than person weilds it. The fact that you both can see it is very... unusual.'

Sam busied himself at the laptop while listening and Dean propped himself up on the bed paying close attention to Cas' words and staring into those eyes. Cas looked back at Dean and continued.

'She was the daughter of a rich man who kept her locked away when she became a Christian and professed her love for Christ. She remained a virgin saying that she would only marry one who surpassed her in beauty, intelligence, wealth and dignity.' Dean muttered 'She's not stuck on herself, much.' Cas continued 'The Emperor Maximus had her scourged...' At Dean's look he said 'Flogged' and Dean nodded. 'He then threw her into prison where she was tortured; the entire time never making a sound. Over 200 people visited her in prison and she converted them all to Christianity. The emperor finally tiring of this ordered her to be broken on the wheel which at her touch broke into pieces. At that they beheaded her.' He paused, still staring into Dean's eyes. 'I was one of the angels who carried her to her burial place on Mt. Sinai.'

Sam looked up and smiled. As far as the other two were concerned he might as well have not been in the room at all and not for the first time wondered at that a little. 'Why do you think she was bringing the sword to us, Cas?'

Cas let Dean see the sudden glint of steel in his blue eyes. 'Swords are used for only one thing Sam. To kill.'

Cas could see, no feel Dean tensing up at that. 'What kind of badass mofo can only be killed with a saint's sword?' he wondered.

Sam said, 'It's really Michael's sword.'

And Dean, almost in spite of himself said 'Jesus H motherfucking Christ, don't we have enough on our plate?'

Cas said (it had become an automatic response by now) 'Dean, don't take the lord's name in vain.' And to Sam 'What have you found...'

At that moment Catherine reappeared next to Sam. She leaned close and whispered to him. As she straightened she handed the sword to him and said, 'This belongs to you, Sam.' She added, picking up the extra cup of coffee, 'And if no one minds I think I'll stick around just to see how this plays out.'

Catherine noticed the other two had become quiet and looked in their direction. They were looking at each other as if they were the only two in the room; no, she thought, in the universe. She turned to Sam and said 'Do they often do this?' Sam didn't even have to look up to see what she meant. He smiled and said 'Yeah. I once timed them for an hour, got bored went to get coffee, came back two hours later and they were still at it. Hadn't moved an inch.' She looked at them again and smiled. 'And I take it they're both unaware that they do this.' Sam replied, 'Sometimes I think they know and sometimes...' She finished her coffee and nodded towards the door. 'I'd like some more coffee. Shall we go find out what your sword is for and leave them to...whatever this is?' Sam put the laptop in his backpack and grabbed the sword. 'Thought you'd never ask.'

As the door closed behind them Cas blinked once and said, 'Did I find a good babysitter for Sam?' Dean nodded, smiled and said, 'Take a load off. Time to teach you about baseball.' Dean scooted over on the bed, reached down to grab two beers from the cooler, flipped on the TV and groaned. 'Jesus, the only game we get is Yankees v Boston? How is my karma this bad? I HATE the Yankees and that douche A-Rod the most.'

Cas said, 'I fail to see how you can hate someone that you've never met, Dean' in that faintly disapproving way that Dean had come to want to avoid at all costs. Dean looked at Cas and said, 'Just sit here' and he patted the bed next to him 'and I'll explain why Alex Rodriguez is the anti-Christ of baseball.' Castiel thought for a minute, shrugged out of the trenchcoat, loosened his tie and removed his shoes. He sat down next to Dean accepted the offered beer and wondered if he should tell Dean about the Yankee season tickets that he'd held since 1951.'

Three hours later after spending the time doing research and drinking coffee, they returned. As Catherine and Sam neared the motel door they heard raised voices-well Dean's voice was raised (and Sam thought 'he's yelling at someone besides me?'). Catherine looked at Sam who shrugged and opened the door. They were greeted with Cas being all up in Dean's personal space (nothing new there) but he was coatless and barefoot (which was). They paused at the door listening (because neither new how to interrupt to announce their arrival).

Dean yelled, 'Cas, don't make me do this...'

Cas responded calmly, 'But Dean, Alex Rodriguez is one of the best players in baseball. He's hit 600 home runs. On anyone's list he's the second best shortstop (after Honus Wagner and just ahead of Derek Jeter) he hit 54 home runs in 2007. His batting average that year was .314. And anyone should appreciate that when Alex Rodriguez swings a bat that it is a beautiful thing to behold. I just want you to admit he's one of the best players in the game, you don't have to like him.'

Dean paused 'And how do you know all this Cas? I don't remember the announcers going over these stats.'

Sam thought to himself 'here comes the deal-breaker'.

Cas paused for a moment staring into Dean's green eyes that he sometimes got lost in. 'I've had Yankees season tickets since 1951. My two favorite players are Mickey Mantle and Alex Rodriguez.'

Cas and Dean were standing closer than two people possibly could without touching. Sam looked at Catherine to make sure she wasn't going to interrupt but she was all rapt attention with a surprised look on her face.

Dean stared into those blue eyes that held the secrets to the universe; hell he knew they held his secrets too. Three minutes later (Sam timed it) it was as if he'd made some monumental decision. Dean had somehow moved closer to the Angel (Sam would have said that was impossible) and said as calmly as he could, 'All right. Alex Rodriguez is one of the best baseball players in the history of the game. Are you happy now, Cas?'

That was the moment that Sam realized his brother was well and truly (the only word for it was whipped).

Catherine murmured (mostly to herself but Sam still caught it) 'I don't think I'll be going to any more Yankees games with Cas.'

Sam managed to catch Dean say in the quietest voice he'd ever heard him use, 'A goddamn Yankees fan. I lo-' here he paused a second, 'a goddamn Yankees fan.'

Cas smiled at Dean and said, 'Thank you Dean, that's all I wanted to hear.' And Sam knew at that moment he wasn't talking about Alex Rodriguez.


End file.
